| testing... testing... |
[10 Mar 2008|04:31am] |
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music |
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rolling stones - street fighting man |
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I remember a time... seems like forever ago... probably because it was.... that I wrote in this thing and had a legion of readers, people that it was really satisfying to interact with...
and looking back, I can see why. I wrote in this fucker with some reckless abandon... and fair enough, some of it is embarrassingly heartfelt and honest.... but thus what was good about it. It was courageous, if nothing else, snarky and post-modern at times but also unabashedly emo at others.
I've abandoned it for the neat packaging and contrived image-making of myspace. I'm sorry for that. I mean shit, some of my myspace entries are clever and funny and all but... very... less than pure and heartfelt. It's so fucking boring to blog on a "social networking" site. It's less than satisfying and dare I say: "Cowardly", to always try to be fucking funny and detached and oh-so-clever and above feelings. Sure, nothing is more annoying and pathetic that constant vomiting of your feelings with no self-awareness and objective humor but by the same token if there's nothing but detached sarcasm then, really, who gives a fuck? Wanna play the role of too fucking cool to be sincere? Great. Good luck with that. None of your blood and soul in it. Who cares? Go be Fonzie to someone who gives a fuck about your well-manicured self-image. know what I'm sayin'?
So, my question, LJ friends, or the ghosts that wander herein, can I go home again? If I leave myspace to the shallow image that it is, can I be me, here, again... with you?
Will you read, like you once did? I think I started this journal like eight years ago... almost a decade. Is anyone still there? Can I have a place to lay my soul bare... and feel it's being heard? Because you know, my soul is a crazy thing... lotsa love, hilarity, pain, desires, self-doubt and narcissism all wrapped in some, hopefully, entertaining and interesting delivery.
Just wondering, i guess, who's still there and who still remembers and wants to listen to the ramblings of a madman...
please comment if you're willing to lend me your ears - not literally...
Otherwise, perhaps I'll just take this need to have my poor man's therapy over to myspace blogs. But I'd rather do it here where there's all that history... Come to think of it, maybe I'll do it there too. Fuck being one thing one place and another somewhere else... But I hope y'all fuckers are well and will be here to listen... because, you're still my favorites. Shhh... don't tell the myspace peeps.
Love,
T
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| The Genius of VISION |
[09 Jul 2006|10:55pm] |
Just when I think my time spent on the internet is waste, I find this and it all becomes worth it.
"Beedogs.com is the premier online repository for pictures of dogs in bee costumes."
BEEDOGS.COM!!!!!
Somebody created A WHOLE WEBSITE dedicated to DOGS dressed up as BEES!!!!
Doesn't it fill you with a childlike glee and make you feel that somehow, because of this, humanity is ultimately good and will be OKAY?!
I ask you my fellow humans... look at this:
And know that there are hundreds of photos at beedogs.com of dogs dressed like bees and tell me, don't you just feel in your gut "Hooray for freedom!"
And while seeing Anne Geddes make millions off of stupid photos of babies in costumes makes me sick.... Someone creating a website of dogs (SPECIFICALLY) in BEE costumes... makes me glad to be alive. If it were just dogs in costumes, it would be WEAK and saccharine sweet but the great vision of saying "NO! ONLY BEE COSTUMES!".... it's a thing of beauty.
Go forth, my friends, and enjoy a world in which BEEDOGS.COM exists!
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| Film characters that you'd want to date |
[22 Apr 2006|06:22pm] |
Okay so, the game is to come up with characters, particular roles... not just the actors who are playing them. I'm leaving out TV here. Here's mine... or the ones I could think of... Try it in your own blog, kids, it's fun.
Alabama as played by Patricia Arquette in True Romance.
( the rest here... warning - many pics )
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| More questionable wit in answer form. |
[17 Feb 2006|05:24pm] |
Reposted as a courtesy to those of you not hip to my myspace blog.
1. What does your MySpace headline mean?
I think "My army of trained monkeys will destroy you!" Is pretty self-explanitory.
2. Elaborate on your default photo:
It's quite clear that I am a wiz with the photoshop and have WAY too much free time.
3. How many comments do you have?
Not enough to win the blue ribbon and the Foghat T-shirt.
4. what's your current relationship status?
It's safe to assume that a 35 year old man with no steady income to speak of and a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fixation would be single.
5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
My Little Pony pajamas and a welder's mask.
6. What is your current problem?
What's YOUR current problem, fuckface!
7. What do you love most?
Oh, that rare treasure of true love... and oral sex.
8. What makes you most happy?
A hot sex addicted woman with lots of disposable income and endless devotion to only me. You know, in theory. I'm assuming here.
9. Are you musically inclined?
That's debatable.
Question 10 has been removed due to being really stupid.
okay, I'll take your word for it. Like the water one below isn't??
11. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
Tampering with the course of history is irresponsible and dangerous. I'd go try to make my life better and I'd find myself working at Arby's with a bad STD.
12. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?
No question. An Otter! Those little fuckers are adorable.
13. Ever have a near death experience?
There was that time I beat Death at chess. That was awesome.
14. Name an obvious quality you have?
Itchy.
15. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
"Girl you know it's true" by Milli Vanilli... Now it's stuck in YOUR head, isn't it? Oh, I'm evil.
16. Are you happy today?
You should always assume that I am brooding.
17. Who will cut and paste this first?
Kim... or one of the other people on my friends page.
18. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Herman Hesse, Polly Holiday and Matt Sweeney.
19. When was the last time you drank water?
Why would anyone think that this could in any way be an interesting question?
20. How many icons are showing on your taskbar?
I don't have a "taskbar", I have happily joined the cult of Mac.
21. Have you ever been in a fight?
The first rule is I'm not supposed to talk about it.
22. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Back in my boy band days, yeah... Til that fucking Lou Perlman ripped us off.
23. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex:
Whether I'm cooler and better looking than their boyfriend or not.
24. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
A CD. I make all my music purchases from Starbucks.
25. What is your biggest mistake?
Being a no good slacker. and that thing with the ketchup bottle.
26. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Just that time I tried to crucify myself. You can never get that last nail in.
(yes, I stole that joke from The Young Ones)
27. Say something totally random about you?
My penis wants to be your friend.
28. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
People say I look like Sarah Michelle Gellar until I point out that I'm the guy on the left.
29. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
If you mean, like Tom & Jerry then yeah, if you're talking about something sick then no.
30. Did you have braces?
I did... on my soul.
31. Are you comfortable with your height?
Yes, except when it means that runway models won't date me.
33. Do you speak any other languages?
Aramaic. Also, What happened to #32?
34. What is your favorite smell?
Women. And I don't JUST mean that in the pervy way... although, yeah that too. -and fresh ground coffee.
35. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
If you've ever seen me in real life, you'd know how absurd this question is.
36. What magazines do you read?
Affluent Golfer, Beagle Enthusiast, Ebony, Knitting!, and Big Booty Latinas.
37. Have you ever ridden in a Hummer limo?
I'd sooner stick my jimmy in a hornet's nest.
38. Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
Only my dog. Thanks for bumming me out, dick! I hope you never get "Girl you know it's true" out of your head!
39. Do you ever watch MTV?
Yeah. and? What are you implying? That I jack off while watching TRL?
Cause I don't! I swear!
40. What's something that really annoys you?
Well, homeboy, I made a whole post about that. Why don't you take your lazy ass and go read it.
41. What's something you really like?
I like sunshine on a cloudy day.
42. Do you like Michael Jackson?
I like some of his older music but I never slept over his house if that's what you're suggesting.
43. Do you give random hugs and kisses?
Not since the arrests, restraining orders and kicks to the groin starting piling up.
44. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
What? sorry. I was going to make a Viagra joke but I nodded off...
45. Have you ever been rushed into the emergency room?
No. I strut in with all kindsa bad-ass, tough guy swagger.
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[15 Feb 2006|10:02pm] |
Buffy (drinking a shot): Blahhh-ahhh-luhhhh!
freakin' adorable. Any dissent will be swiftly ignored.
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| Annoying shit: part one |
[27 Jan 2006|06:03pm] |
Annoying shit: part one.
(reposted from myspace blog)
Seriously, things that are unavoidable like long lines and shit or honest mistakes like when the poor kid who gets paid 2 bucks an hour after tax messes up your order and all you have to do is point it out and it's fixed... that kinda stuff doesn't annoy me at all. A few of the things that DO annoy me are presented here for your blog-o-tainment.
* Words or phrases repeated incessantly without the intent of being funny.
Car dealership commercials are especially guilty of this crime against humanity. It's always in that painfully irritating Top 40 DJ / Monster truck show announcer voice.
"At BIG DAN'S TOYOTA-CHEVROLET we've got deals that'll put your grandma in a coma. Come on Down to BIG DAN'S TOYOTA-CHEVROLET and we'll send you away in a car or truck with NO MONEY DOWN! At BIG DAN'S TOYOTA-CHEVROLET, we'll give you coffee, donuts and a handjob. No money? No job? No limbs? A Nasty meth addiction? NO PROBLEM at BIG DAN'S TOYOTA-CHEVROLET! At BIG DAN'S TOYOTA-CHEVROLET, we love you long time...."
If you fucking say BIG DAN'S TOYOTA-CHEVROLET, one more time I'm gonna firebomb the place and gut Big Dan like a trout!!!
There was also an abomination of a weight watcher's commercial where some chick kept saying "Look at me!" "Look at me! I lost 12 pounds! Look at me! I fit into these jeans again! Look at me! I'm 12 pounds less and 12 times the sexy! LOOK AT ME!"
Look at me! I'm the most annoying person on the face of the earth! Look at me! Christ Almighty, whyyyy won't you looook at meeeeheehhehe!!??
This can also happen in everyday life, often when someone is trying to explain something and they keep saying 'basically". "Basically, if you want to have sex with your best friend's dad, all you basically need, is some roofies, some lube and basically any sort of beverage. Basically, you find out what their dad's favorite beverage is. Basically..."
Dude, if you say "basically" one more time, I'm going to shank you in the junk!
* People who say and/or believe the stupidest shit.
Okay, now I say stupid shit all the time but I'm just being a jackass. Sometimes people believe this shit with utter conviction and sincerity!
An example close to home is those goddamn people reposting things like "If you don't repost this within 8 minutes and 14 seconds, no one will ever love you and you'll get crabs from a toilet seat but if you do repost it, you'll be the next Miss America (even if your [sic] a guy)" and then it comes with this dumb disclaimer like "Sorry, guys, I know these things are bullshit but I don't want crabs and I could really use the Miss America money." Wha...? HUH?! I'm going to post a bulletin that says "Now that you've read this, if you ever repost a chain bulletin again, karma will give you and everyone you care about bird flu, acne and a lifetime of bad haircuts and monkeys will shit in your favorite hat." What will they do when they get another chain bulletin? Which one do they blindly, slavishly obey?! Hopefully, the stress will give them an aneurism. Please, for the love of Mindy Cohn, stop with that shit!
Another example is stupid logic like "If a guy is a good dancer, that means he's good in bed" Why? 'Cause his hips work and he can move in sync to a 4/4 beat that just about any conscious living being could follow? C'mon now! Or "That guy's got big hands, you know what that means!" Ummm... His gloves are also big? He's got a genetic edge at handball? His liquid hand soap expenses are higher than average? I give up.
Also, annoying are trite beliefs and sentiments like "Everything happens for a reason" -but truth be told, I like this particular one because it gives me carte blanche to pimp slap 'em and say "You're right. and the reason there? You're a goddamn halfwit! Good day, sir!" and storm off.
** Note: You should always say "Good Day, sir!" right after you slap someone and right before briskly exiting. It's just proper.
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| Tom's 2006 Golden Globe Award Commentary |
[17 Jan 2006|06:33pm] |
(I just resposted this from my myspace blog before one of you punks has the chance to "nudge" me.)
I turned on the TV last night and the Golden Globes were on and I like scoff and roll my eyes.... and my internal dialogue went something like:
"The Golden Globes! How lame. I'm not gonna wa.... OOO! Drew Barrymore in a tight dress. Damn girl! OHH!! Natalie Portman! Wow, you really are the new Audrey Hepburn.... I'm going to grab some chips and Salsa and watch the golden globes."
Yeah, so I suddenly became a gay man... well, aside from the part where the only thing I noticed about Drew's dress was that it was tight... but aside from that... And feel free to insert your own Drew's breasts = Golden Globes here. I'm above such a joke -just not above suggesting there is a joke in there.
Okay so, on to random commentary and observations I made about this illustrious and over-hyped event:
* Ron Howard is still bald.
* Johnny Depp is still cool.
* George Clooney is a good looking man. Much more so now than in the ER days.
* I don't want to see Clint Eastwood wearing velour -especially a velour bow tie.
* Something about Matt Dillon is just sorta creepy.
* Mariah Carey has a monkey face (not in a good way).
* Sarah-Jessica Parker has a horse face (which is never in a good way -unless you're actually a horse)
* Hooray for Steve Carell.
(and while I love Steve Carell. There was really no reason to remake the UK Office)
* There should've been much more braless Drew in the tight dress and Natalie Portman...
* I like that Reese Witherspoon. She seems sweet. (plus she was hilarious in the dark comedy "Freeway")
* I like Joaquin Phoenix and Johnny Cash. Although that Joaquin is an odd duck.
* I wonder who's richer, the Weinstein Brothers or the Olsen Twins...
* Russell Crowe is all man. I mean that in the best and worst possible way. Even in a fancy suit he looks like he should be smoking a Marlboro and chugging an oil can of Fosters.
* Oh, Paris Hilton was there. What a shock. Listen people... What if we collectively get together as a planet and just all agree to stop paying any attention to her and pretend she doesn't exist. I predict world peace will follow.
* Melanie Griffith is one plastic sugery away from being Amanda LePore (who is a transexual model.. or something. You can click the link or google him/her to get the joke)
* The only way you can tell Jason Lee is a famous actor and not an actual redneck -perfect teeth.
* Terrence Howard looked all suave like the new Billy Dee Williams.
* Tim Robbins is a tool. He was at the Pixies reunion show in NYC and someone said to him "Hey Mr. Sarandon" and he got all miffed. Self-important much?
* Jeremy Piven has always been funny and charming but when did he become suave? Also his receding hairline hasn't receded in 10 years. What's his secret?
* I like Kate Winslet much better than Renee Zellwegger. As to why I compare them... I dunno. I think every movie with Renee would have been better with Kate. Renee always seems to look like she just finished a three hour crying jag.
* Although I've never seen Desperate Housewives or Weeds (or Lost for that matter) I'm still glad Mary-Louise Parker won! She's sweet. Those damn Housewives seem to think they're hot shit.
* Also the first hack journalist who makes a "Lost - won" play on words should be executed... cause you know it'll happen.
* Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is HOT! (I swear, I'm totally straight but c'mon!)
* Scarlett Johansson is hot but seems to have the personality of an aluminum folding chair with gum stuck to it.
* Linda "Lindsey Weir/Velma" Cardellini has BLONDE hair now?! NO, Linda! NO!!
* Where was Jake "Donnie Darko/The gay cowboy who's not Heath Ledger" Gyllenhaal?
* Did I mention Drew Barrymore's breasts? Did I mention Johnny Depp is COOL?
That's all I got folks. I don't want to hear that I mispelled someone's name. What kinda thanks is that for entertaining you with such great comedy... Okay maybe not "great" per se but certainly funnier than David Spade. Feel free to send pics of Drew though.
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[03 Aug 2005|01:42am] |
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music |
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Eminem - "Without Me" |
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Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little controversy, cuz it feels so empty without me
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| RE: Employment |
[11 Sep 2004|11:43am] |
Hey Frank,
I know that you are a weasle but my head is
on fire and my ass smells like apples! Perhaps if you
are to continue with your career in motorized hot dog
stand racing, you will make me a member of your
"mustard and relish crew"? this would make me very happy
and i would be glad to accept the modest salary of 3
dollars and 22 cents an hour that you offered. It
would be worth it to be on TEAM FRANK!!! If the M&R
crew position isn't available then perhaps a spot as a
"lemonade replenishing engineer"? Either way, all i
ask is for a nice cap to wear and every alternate
thursday off. (that's when I go for my brazilian wax)
Thanks for eveything,
Lloyd McBird Jr.
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[02 Aug 2004|02:23pm] |
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okay, some nice people didn't want me to delete my journal, so it is now undeleted. but don't expect much more these days. Thank you for you patience and good day, sirs and madames.
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[02 Jul 2004|02:57am] |
movie recommendations:
Fahrenheit 9/11
Bad Santa
CD recommendation:
Nick Cave - "The Secret Life of the Love Song / The Flesh Made Word"
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| gypsy |
[27 Jun 2004|01:34am] |
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music |
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nick cave & the bad seeds |
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(C) Thomas Cunningham
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| shadow |
[24 Jun 2004|10:03pm] |
(c) thomas cunningham
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[16 Jun 2004|12:41am] |
Well, I know what I want to do on my birthday...
see Before Sunset.
The sequel to Before Sunrise which is such a great film. It's everything that Lost in Translation wanted to be... I liked Lost in Translation but it's nothing compared to Before Sunrise.
That is all.
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| seriously now... no, seriously... you're kidding, right? |
[08 Jun 2004|11:23am] |
"USA Today reported Tuesday that Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., plans to sponsor legislation to have Reagan replace Alexander Hamilton, the nation's first treasury secretary, on the $10 bill.
Meanwhile, an effort is underway in the House, led by Rep. Dana Rohrbacher (R-Calif.), to put Reagan's face on the $20..." [ Full Article here ]
In addition to the obvious fact that that evil cocksucker doesn't deserve to grace our currency, I'm going to venture to guess that, were this to happen, these would be the most defaced bills ever. I'm already thinking of ways to deface them.
edit: Please submit your ideas as to how you would deface the Reagan money. I'll start: Some devils horns and a voice bubble saying, "See, poor people, I told you it would trickle down."
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[08 Jun 2004|11:15am] |
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mood |
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none, or other |
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music |
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none, or other |
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(c) Thomas Cunningham
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[07 Jun 2004|01:51am] |
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Love, Loss, Ache, Myths.
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| navigation |
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viewing |
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deadman's journal
